Realizations

Over the past couple of weeks and especially last night for some reason, it hit me very hard that some may see me as a friend of convience. Others don't take the time to get to know me or invite me to do things simply because I don't have children at this point. I went to sleep last night with tears in my eyes because I realized I am tired of people not taking time to get to know me. So I started making a mental list of things that I enjoy doing that I don't think people know. I was going to share some of them here but decided that I will write the whole list in my journal. If you sincerely want to know, most of you have my email or phone number and you can ask. So anyway I was feeling really sorry for myself and then I remembered a talk that Sheri Dew gave in the November 2001 General Conference called"Are we not all mothers". For those of you who aren't members of my church, she was a leader of our womens organzation called Relief Society for several years. I remembered how at the time I was very single, had just moved into an apartment on my own, and how inspiring this article was to me at the time. I realized that I didnt have to have children to be a mom. In this talk she said, "Of all the words they could have chosen to define her role and her essence, both God the Father and Adam called Eve the 'mother of all living'--and they did so before she ever bore a child. Like Eve, our motherhood began before we were born...Motherhood is more than bearing children, though it is certainly that, It is the essence of who we are aw women. It defines our identity, our divine stature and nature, and the unique traits our father gave us." Nowhere in this talk does she say that the only way we can be mothers is by bearing children. I realized then and now this principle. I can be an example and mother figure to children and youth who aren't my own. I know that Heavenly Father reminded me of this article and inspired me to look it up and read it again. I encourage you to read it so you will better understand where I am coming from.
I also decided that if people don't want to take the time to get to know me and become a true friend to me while I don't have children, then if and when we do sorry you aren't worth my time. There are many people and couples who for one reason or another don't have children. I remember having a conversation with my mom a few years ago where she encouraged me to always live my life to the fullest. If I spent every waking hour worrying about trying to have a child then one of two things would happen. I would either go totally insane or I would fall into a deep depression. So I choose to live life. I have found joy in hobbies. Right now its quilting. Oh the joy and peace it gives me. I'm grateful for a dear friend for introducing me to it when John and I first got married and when I moved here. She saw that I needed a friend and this provided a way.
I don't post this so you can feel sorry for me. I post it so you can understand that there is a whole lot more to me and to vent. I do have feelings and am very tender hearted. Sometimes I wear my feelings on my shirtsleeve as my mother calls it. I'm also too nice and won't tell people no. Well those are things I have been working on the last few months. So don't be offended if you ask me to do something and I tell you no. There's a reason for it and I may or may not tell you.

He's DONE!!!!

So as most of you know, since before we got married, John has been working on getting is MSM (Masters of Science in Management). He was supposed to be finished by the first of April and in fact busted is butt finishing his paper, thanks in large part to my family for helping him get people to take the survey he needed to gather data for it. He turned it in and a week later received word from the school and both instructors that his paper was not acceptable and that they bascially thought it needed to be rewritten. Well after several months and a sleep study later he finished the paper. He put a lot of hard work into it, followed the advice of the instructors and the dean and submitted the paper about three weeks ago.
Its thanks to many prayers and all the support that hes finally done. We will tell you NOT to ever use the school he attended online. If you want to know more as to why just ask lol..

Update

John called the sleep center Tuesday to see if by chance they had had any cancellations so he could get in earlier to have his followup and therefore get his cpap machine. Well as luck (and an answer to many many prayers) would have it, they did and we were able to see the doctor Wednesday at 8:30 am. It turns out John has severe apnea. The doctor said he stops breathing 68 times per hour. She said she would fax the order for the cpap machine to the company that our insurance works with and that they would call us to set up an appointment to get the machine. Well an hour after we got home they called and John was able to get it that day. Needless to say both of us have been sleeping very well since. We are very greatful for the answered prayers. It will be nice to have a husband that doesn't go around looking like a zombie

Life Happens

So I was kindly reminded that I hadn't updated the blog lately. Part of it is because I didn't think the stuff that has been going on would be of interest to anyone. But my mom thought it would be so here goes.
I hadn't been to Utah to see my Grandma Clark since April 2010. I have felt strongly for several months that John and I needed to make a trip over so I could see her. Shes 88 years young and I know that the time for her on this earth is getting short. I have a special bond with her and cherish any time spent with her. I felt the same way with my dads parents. Being single as long as I was gave me a wonderful opportunity to be able to go and visit and build a bond with my grandparents that no one can break. Anyway after much convincing and reassuring I got John to take me over to see her. Some of you may wonder why I didn't make contact to see you. Well this trip was very quick and I wanted to spend time seeing family and one very close friend that I hadn't seen since our wedding. Maybe we can connect next trip or we ALWAYS welcome visitors. We had a great visit with my grandma and I also got to see my brother and then my sister and her family. It wasn't long enough for me but hopefully next time we can spend more time.
One of the reasons John was hesitant to drive over is he has been extremely tired lately. He sleeps and still wakes up exhausted. We have been to see a specialist and now know the cause. We are pretty sure he has Sleep Apnea. He has had the sleep study and now we have to wait for the follow up appt. John wishes he could see the doctor sooner rather than later but oh well. I guess we need a lesson in patience. I'm looking forward to no more snoring haha. My family knows all too well at how loud it is. And yes I think its worse than my dads.
As for me Im just trying to keep up on the house and yard. One big adventure was I won tickets to the Reno rodeo from a local TV station here. John was going to go with me but realized the day before that there was no way he could get off work. I made a small attempt to get someone to go with me but decided I needed to venture by myself to this event. Why you say? Well I have learned that with Johns work schedule there are times that if i want to do something I'm going to have to go alone. It would be different if I had single friends here without kids but I don't. I had a blast. Our rodeo is amazing and Im so glad I forced myself to go.
So there you have it..That's kind of what we have been up to. Have a great one

Crusie News

I have been wanting to share the pictures and a video from our cruise for a while, it was just a matter of being patient waiting for John to upload the stuff to our server. About three weeks ago or so John and I along with my parents went on a cruise to the Western Caribbean. We had a blast. I did things I had not done since I was a kid including going down a water slide at a pool in Belize. In Costa Maya we saw Mayan Ruins, in Roatan we learned about the native people and Yes I was picked do dance with the dancers. My mom was picked as well, However she sat down before either my husband or father could get a picture. In Cozumel we went snorkeling. It was the first time I had done this and I'm totally hooked. My lifetime goal is to someday learn to Scuba dive. The ocean is such a magical place. The Snorkel guide for our group was so very kind and loving and caring with my mom. As my family knows she doesn't swim very well. She wanted to snorkel so badly but was afraid that she would not be able to do it and therefore wouldn't have fun. The excursion we picked was a shore side snorkel where we started from the beach. Our guide Dee Dee (a male) stayed by my moms side the entire time and pulled her around via a lifeguard can. Needless to say he now holds a special place in our hearts.
On a spiritual note one of the most amazing things we learned about was the "Tree of Life" that was important to the Mayan people. My thoughts instantly went to the Book of Mormon. My testimony of the truthfulness of this book and its teachings was strengthened. I know that some of you who read this do not share my faith and that's OK. I hope you at least are able to get a sense of how important my faith is to me and get a small glimpse into that side of my life. A very important side that sadly I don' think I vocalize very much and need to work on doing so more. I have included a video and a few pictures below.. Enjoy

Sewing Fun

I decided after looking for a swimsuit coverup in the stores for a while, one that would work for our upcomming cruise that we are going on with my parents, I decided to undertake making some sun dressses. It was my first time doing this all on my own and I was so very nervous but thanks to the help of a friend in my ward I was able to do it. One of them is a sundress that I can wear with a white t-shirt under to church. The purple one sadly because of an error I made while cutting out the pattern, is to short but will work great to wear to the pool. Also I was looking for an easy to make purse and found a pattern on Martha Stewarts website using a pillow case. It was super easy and I had fun making it.. I have included pictures for your enjoyment.

Finally an Update

Life has been a bit crazy for us. I did finally make an outfit for our dog Sophi. Hopefully I am able to load one on here. I found that I had to add a collar on it because otherwise she is able to wiggle out of it..I made one without and a second one with. Its crazy to think that our dog has to have a sweater because she gets cold. Today she has been so cold she was huddled on my lap under a blanket with the sweater on. At the first part of March right after my birthday we went to Oklahoma City to spend time with my family and some friends. As is usually the case the trip wasn't long enough. But hopefully we will be able to make a trip back soon..So the airfare needs to quit going up dang it. While we were there we went to the zoo and took two of my nephews with us because Jackson was sick and Tiffany had to take him to the doctor. John and I had a blast spending time with them. Oh how I have missed them. We thoroughly enjoyed our time there. We are greatful for all the help we got from my family friends and Johns dad in helping him get his surveys done for his Capstone Project. This is his final step in finishing his masters, and at the last minute we needed help getting the survey completed.
I have gotten serious about quilting and am working on two right now. One is closer to being done than the other and hopefully next week Im going to make a trip to one of the Fabric stores to get what I need to finish the top of one of them.

Im loving being in Primary. For the first time in a while I look forward to going to church. My class is full of active children but they make me smile every week.
This is Sophi in the second sweater I made for her
My nephew with a bird on his shoulder. His little brother wanted nothing to do with his lol.